Tag: thistoshallpass

Career, Charity and Giving, Giving Back, Golf, Life Choices, Mentoring, Moving Forward

Lessons Learned: My First Golf Experience

I’ve learned to Face Everything And Recover (facing one’s fears)

When I was young we had a couple of golf irons (I just called them clubs back then) among a garage bin-full of other sporting equipment. One day my brother and sisters decided to try “golfing” in our front yard for the first time.

I couldn’t tell you the brand of the 2-3 irons, or the golf balls we had acquired from a garage sale, but since it was something we were “trying out” for fun, they did the job for a group of kids ages 7-19 years old just trying something out.

Our corner property was long and large enough to play many sports on. We didn’t have an actual hole or pin, just a target we competed to get within range of. We did this with many activities and sports, it was a lot of fun.

At 7 years old (I was the youngest), I didn’t know anything about golf, but I had watched Wide World of Sports on TV, so I tried to emulate what I saw. Big swing, aim for the ball, and off it went – in at least the smallest of coincidences – it did so in the right direction. But, not for everyone in the group of course.

Here’s where a massive problem arose. It was my third turn up to swing (we started each “round” in order of oldest to youngest at the same place in the yard from the target at the end of the property). I blithely set-up the ball and positioned the shared club (fearless, and unaware at that time). Started on my BIG back-swing. Aaaaaand Whammm – my sister was sneaking up behind me to break my concentration. She succeeded. Aaaaaaand, I accidentally hit her hard with the club just above her left eyebrow. It was a gash, (lucky it wasn’t her eye), but with that back swing, I had given her not just a welt, but a bloody gash, aaaand turns out – a concussion.

She was rushed to the hospital. It took decades for the guilt to go away, and seeing the scar to this day, brings the whole episode to the forefront of my memory. Yes, I do realize that it wasn’t my fault, but I was involved, I was holding the club, I still hold myself responsible even though ultimately my sister was and is ok.

But, I was so traumatized, I didn’t pick up a golf club again until last year. I still to this day look around me before ever thinking of striking a ball (whether a softball, or golf ball, a good idea no matter what).

Later in life, I worked at ABC’s Wide World of Sports – in fact I told my mom earlier that same summer when I was 7, yes 7 that I was going to “work there someday”, and I did. Out of the mouths of children comes truth. I didn’t know what that meant at the time, luckily I do now.

I never was told that was a big dream back then, I wasn’t told it wouldn’t be attainable, I just received the gift reply of “ok honey”. My parents had no idea what it meant either, so there was no reason to not believe it was true.

I worked on many different sporting events including golf – I studied the players for each event I worked so I could recognize them if and when needed. From Golf, College & Monday Night Football, Horse Racing, Auto Racing, Bowling, Ice Skating, and Gymnastics. It was a great time. Thing is, I worked out all the, but stopped playing sports. I didn’t really even realize that until right this moment when I wrote that.

I played sports, did running events, did gymnastics, and dance class in grade & middle school, then went to performing arts high school for dance, but with that stopped “competitive sports”.

After college, I took to physical volunteering for different causes: cycling events, running events, swimming events, then began triathlons, just last year I participated in tough mudders too (and I love doing all of them).

Last year I started playing softball again. I’m relearning everything, I also have set aside my predisposition regarding golf, have taken lessons, and love the entire process. I regret not getting out of my own way mentally about the game. I’m still cognizant of my surroundings, where people, animals, and things are in relation to what I’m doing, not just in golf, but in life as well.

My Personal Take Away:

It’s wise to always know my surroundings, the fear has left, but the good practice of ensuring my and others safety prior to taking any swing (in sports, personally, and business opportunity), is just good sense. Don’t let fear stop you, let it inform you to be careful, but not hinder you action.

Keep Moving Forward, and Enjoy the Journey.

Career, Charity and Giving, Giving Back, Golf, Life Choices, Mentoring, Moving Forward

Your Big Break

It’s not a puzzle to be solved

You’ve worked and worked. Shown up, gone above and beyond at work, with friends and family too. You’ve volunteered for the food bank, and local toy drive, helped neighbors with packages, and driven them to appointments they forgot about, and they didn’t want to take a car service.

You’ve gone to holiday gatherings for over a month for work and with friends. You’ve networked with your business contacts, sent notes, emails, well wishes done everything possible to bring good will to others.

Work is great, your friends and family are great, you’ve taken care of your significant other. Now what ?

It’s YOU time, that’s what!

Don’t forget about Yourself. I learned 12 years ago (on my yoga mat) that taking time for yourself is Not selfish, it’s actually one of many self-less things you can do for yourself and others. Ummm hmhmmm – it’s true.

Say what now?

Take one hour for yourself Today in anyway you’d like. A walk, meditate, if you want movement involved – work out (today I worked out, then did yoga, later I’ll play a little golf), listen to music, take a bath, swim, read, write, play an instrument, play /practice a sport, but do it. Yes Today!

You should set aside time everyday for yourself. It doesn’t always need to be an hour, just set aside some “boundary time” (time you will not be disturbed). No kids, no family, no friends, no texting, no social media – just where you’re doing You, unplugged to reset. No bills, no cooking, no cleaning, no kids (even for 5 minutes), breathe…..

This brings you back to you, the best version of you gets to emerge from this practice because not only your wants are met, an intrinsic Need of Re-connecting with yourself occurs.

You don’t know what to pick? It doesn’t HAVE to be any one thing. Pick one thing a day to try. Try something new. I chose yoga, it was the single greatest thing I did, because I didn’t even know at that moment how much I needed it yet. I just wanted to get out of the house, be with people – and try a class at my new gym. This year, learning golf and its process has me in the same zone. It’s amazing.

After the new year I’m taking a 4 day completely unplugged break. No phone, no email, no phone calls (except for emergencies only). I haven’t had a break since COVID began. Working and living at home has crossed some serious time boundaries, every day seemed to run into the next until I set some boundaries.

Exception: In an emergency, “me” time can be interrupted – but the house better be on fire! Ok, maybe not literally on fire, but I think I’ve made my point.

And, if I haven’t made my point. My point is take a break before you do!

Everyone needs even a quick reset, make it a 5 minute a day practice to start (and build from there), I guarantee others will see a positive change in you before you do. You’ll be healthier and much happier.

You’re worth it, believe it, own it, be it. You have permission to just think of yourself for at least 5 minutes a day – for the rest of your life. Then, you can return to your job, following up on tasks, the carpool, doing the dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning up after your pets and loved ones.

This is not a New Year’s resolution. Leave all your worries and things to do outside a virtual or physical door. When I step onto my yoga mat or write, nothing else exists at that moment in time. I can compartmentalize with such focus that nothing else exists, it’s almost like being in a trance. There are hours I’ve easily written through, and stepped onto my yoga mat hundreds of times, hearing just the voice of the instructor, going through the entire class, moving through each Asana, and found myself at the end not even realizing that someone else was in the room with me. It’s transcendent. It’s transformative.

It’s what I didn’t even know that I needed. Permission. Permission to think of just that for that moment in time.

You have permission to break from the task filled universe and be selfish for yourself, then you can be of service and more of yourself with the world.

Do it, you have Permission.

Career, Employment, Life Choices, Moving Forward

It’s About Progress Not Perfection

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about making progress. Every day, we are presented with opportunities to move forward and improve our lives. Sometimes, we take those opportunities and sometimes we don’t. But as long as we keep moving forward, even if it’s just a little bit each day, we are making progress.

As we evolve we hopefully become more self aware. We know what we want, and possibly more importantly we know want we don’t want for ourselves. We can still make “bad” decisions, but I have to believe that each decision one makes is based on a belief system or defense mechanism we each have built for ourselves. A belief platform that tells us over and over again of “how it’s supposed to be”. But is it right? Is there a ”right” way? Only one, or just the one you’ve come to believe in?

Take the holidays. Chanukah, the Festival of Lights. When you were a child it was one thing, as an adult is it another ? Does it mean as much? How have your beliefs changed in what it was or is? Have they changed? The same can be asked about Christmas as well. Goto church, pray, get gifts, gather and eat with family.

How do you deal with the holidays, family, family “friends”, new “friends”? Are you excited, stressed out, evasive, apathetic?

If you’re going to be uncomfortable being with family, you have permission to not go (or host).

In tech, we build software applications and systems, test them, then give them to others to test and “break”. We WANT them to find flaws so they can be fixed before a bigger problem is found. It’s an iterative process. Yes, sometimes frustrating, but usually satisfying especially if it’s an easy fix. No one expects it to be perfect.

Now imagine crafting your life that way. There is no right, there is no wrong, there just is. The good, the bad, the frustration, the elation all will pass, nothing is permanent. A moment from now you won’t be exactly the same person you were a moment ago, so quite possibly the NOW person doesn’t want or need what the person they were a moment ago needed.

My whole life changed again during COVID. One day I was living alone in a condo in northern NJ working 2 jobs commuting to NYC 6 days a week, and on March 9th, 2020 I shut down my section of MLB Advanced Media, a brand new multi-million dollar office, and have barely traveled to NYC again, even for fun. If you told me that – on that day at that moment, it didn’t seem like that something so extreme would even be possible. But it was.

The next day the entire team pivoted to be home based, and we got to work, and we made it work. In no small part of that equation we’re my bosses, who were and are stellar in every sense of the word. Was it seamless and perfect? Not even close. The whole team was clamoring for more work hours, but we all made due with what was given. It worked somehow.

In my off hours, which were now many, I began long walks outside, worked out more, went to the grocery store as little as possible, but when I did I wore my mask, came home took off my shoes at the door, washed the food, all the clothes I was wearing, and took a full shower. It was exhausting, but I didn’t get COVID.

I helped neighbors, and met with friends outside 6 feet apart, took care of my pets, and just kept moving forward. Was it perfect? Again, not by a long shot. I applied to any job I thought I could do remotely for months, I was about to lose my condo when I sold it and moved in with my boyfriend. I then also started a fully remote mainstream job for the first time in years. I was a fish out of water, but I learned about the people, the culture, the job, the technology, and the competition. It was all new like I was a beginner again, because in a certain way, I was. Tech in broadcasting was rapidly changing, evolve or die, I choose to live, and so I did.

Is it perfect now? Nope. It’s progress not perfection. I’m in a New home, with a great guy, great friends and family, a great job, still working out everyday. It got better and still gets better everyday. It’s been a long road but setting expectations and accepting where you’re at in that exact moment leads to a certain peace in life that perfection can’t deliver.

#keepmovingforward

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Employment, Life Choices, Mentoring, Moving Forward, Technology

Shot in the Dark… Monday Night Football, Dallas Cowbows @ Philadelphia Eagles, my first MNF game

After a full summer of PGA Tour Golf, Horse Racing, Auto Racing, and Bowling, so many events I don’t think I could list all of them. It was time to head back to the University for my second year. It was also the start of Football season, a whole new sport that I hadn’t worked on – YET. It was the first in-season game the Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles @ Veterans Stadium.

I finished my last class on Friday at 2pm, I had already packed my car, and was Ready To Go. I now had a Chevy Cavalier that my brother fixed up for me to drive. So, off I went from Northern NJ, to Pennsylvania just a few hours to drive. My first football game, the cabling was basically set, but the skill set for Football, is vastly different than for Golf, Horse & Auto Racing. But, what I did know, and always brought with me was the willingness to learn and grow from each experience and to build upon each one. The Field Production and Technical Managers were more than willing to show anyone with the curiosity to learn what they knew too. It was an amazing time in life. The possibilities were endless, as long as I was open to them. That remains true today too.

“Our intention creates our reality.”
– Wayne Dyer

I had made a Co-Op for my major out of this freelance job, and I was also getting paid to do it (I was “promoted”, and now made $75/day instead of just $50/day), Incredible opportunity. To ensure I didn’t miss many classes I was able to make all of my classes start on Tuesday and run to Friday.

I got to Veteran’s stadium a few hours later, parked in the designated area, and checked in with my PM. They were working with the blimp guy at the time, so I listened and took notes just to understand what he needed and when. Old school style still, pen and small notepad. Ok, we printed out the crew schedule, I posted it, made sure everyone knew their call times, made sure everyone had turned in their paperwork to onboard, and we were set to go. It was late, so off to a nearby hotel we went. Simple digs, but comfortable, but also no other young women were working the event so I was alone. I didn’t go to the gym that night, I went to sleep!

The next 2 days, I was raring to go, I got to the site early and opened up the production trucks and got everything ready for the PMs and TMs. Because, if I was on-time, I was already late! We spent the day planning and setting up telecom, and other technical aspects of the broadcast. We gave updates to the SVPs that were going to come to the game, ensured that we had badges for all, and knew exactly where they would be seated. I know that doesn’t sound exciting, but I thought it was because I wanted to not just a good job, I wanted to do a great job. I enlarged travel directions to fax to all the execs, and received confirmation that they had gotten them. I think we’re set.

Monday, here it is – game day. Later than expected, I was asked to go pick up some other supplies that the blimp guy had asked for at the last minute. It was getting dark out, but – No Problem. They usually sent us out in pairs, but everyone else was busy, so I was told to take one of the rental cars, pick up the gear at a local store, and come right back. Again, no problem. I called the store, they had the items ready, so off I went. But, I made a wrong turn, I had no idea where I was, and it wasn’t good.

There were abandoned cars, and heaps of garbage everywhere, I kept driving thinking I’d get to a street on my printed map. I didn’t. Suddenly there were 2 cars that blew passed me on each side, I slowed down to nearly a stop.

“Whew”, I stopped at the top of the block, that was crazy! I’m not done… At the end of the block there were a few cars facing each other and suddenly the men jumped out of the cars, pulled out guns, and started to shoot at each other! I saw the whole thing. I saw people get shot! It was like a movie, almost not real, except it was, and again I saw the whole thing! I didn’t know what to do. I put the rental car in reverse to back up, and went down a side street shaking, terrified, discombobulated, numb, those were real people, that was real…..

Finally, I saw a police car and drove straight to it. I rambled nonsensically on and on and on to the officers about what I saw, not even sure what it was that went on, and even though I wasn’t sure of the name of the street it all happened on.

I knew nothing. Ok, I knew the color of the cars and makes and models since I used to be a “helper” to my brother when he fixed cars, but other than that, I couldn’t give a good description of the people involved, it all happened very quickly. They took my statement, and where I was staying, I even gave them the pay-phone for my dorm floor if they needed to reach me after I went back to NJ.

Shakily, I asked the officers how to get to the store I was looking for, it wasn’t far, I picked up the supplies and returned to the production area dazed, worn-out, and still shaking a bit, but I DID feel safe with the crew. I never went out alone again btw. Focusing on work, and getting everything ready helped after a minor break, everything was done.

The PM had me sit with him for the remainder of the game, someone else would take the execs to their seats. We broke down in 3 hours what it took 3 days to build up, which always amazed me, and I decided to goto the hotel, check out right away and go back to the University. I didn’t want to be alone in the hotel room, I wanted to be back at school as soon as possible. Not my greatest idea, I was tired, still stunned, and then I had to walk to the dorm from the far dark parking lot alone at 6am. I got back safe and sound, my roommate was asleep, I quietly took a shower and tried to sleep.

Now what? I didn’t know, thoughts were racing through my mind, they undermined my confidence, it was shot (no pun intended) for the moment. But this too shall pass, won’t it? “Should I continue this life?”, “this was a fluke”, “what just happened”, “should I tell me parents?”, “should I tell anyone?” The sound of the live gunfire still perfectly resonated in my mind. Those men are probably dead – OMG!

I never did hear from the Philadelphia police, I DID tell my parents, I DID go on to do the entire season of MNF. I left school every Friday (even the following Friday after the shooting) after my 2pm class ended, whether I drove or hopped on a plane, I’d get to the site, set-up, break-down, go back to the University and made most of my classes. I continued to study on the plane – no matter what.

Lessons Learned: Don’t let fear stop you ever. Fear doesn’t stop death, it stops life. Face Everything And Recover, it does get better. The memory is still here as I am writing this – it’s palpable even now, but I know I have the tools to handle it. Friends, family, therapists, there’s no shame in admitting you need it. It is what it is. Not to be cliché, but I cannot change the past, nor was anything my fault, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Keep moving forward No Matter What.

That was the first time I ever saw anyone get shot, but it wasn’t the last.