The One Single Word Everyone Wants to Hear

There are many articles on many subjects about creating connections, friendships, collaborations, instilling trust with colleagues. Are you connecting? If not as much as you’d like, or if you don’t know what missing it could be this one essential thing.

People love many many varied things in their relationships whether in business or personal. Having things in common is a great conversation starter, but halfway in after meeting someone for this first, second, or third time, they and YOU may not even know what’s missing. Have you guessed it yet?

You’ve had a great conversation with your new doorman, store clerk, waiter/waitress, business contact, interviewer, interviewee, video or in-person conference meeting, or a friend of a friend you met at a gathering, now what are they and you subconsciously waiting on?

I can’t believe I don’t remember, they “just said it” you think to yourself. Uhh, thank you……. “Thank you, nice to meet you”, with a node or handshake depending on the situation. That’s nice but that’s not it. Plus, that’s more than one word – just sayin!

What is The Single word everyone wants to hear?

Their Name! It’s the ultimate recognition.

Tips to remember:

1. If on the phone speaking with a customer service person, pharmacist, sales person, anyone who is helping, or trying to help, write down their name right away. Say their name back to them a few times in the conversation if you can.

2. If on a video call or meeting, jot down the person’s name discreetly if it’s not displayed on the screen. If there are many people in the same meeting take a quick screen shot so you can revisit the name with the face. The participant drop-down menu is also usually a good resource to get full names depending on each participant’s input.

3. In-person meetings, if you have a meeting invite, writing down the name of whom you’re meeting with before the meeting can solidify their name. Make sure when you’re first introduced to make eye contact and say their name back. “Nice to meet you, X”. Use their name as much as is comfortable in your conversation.

Pro Tip: If in an interview remember to follow-up with a Thank you email. Get their physical or digital card. Or, their email address should be on the invite. Don’t be shy in asking for their email address in the interview, it shows interest and initiative.

4. Ok. So you met someone you like at a gathering – big or small, but just about everyone is a new face and name (this can also apply to a new work situation). When you first meet people via remote video, or in-person again, say their name back to them as soon as comfortably possible. Again, use it in sentences as much as you can without being creepy.

5. Stop saying you’re “bad with names and faces”. I know this sounds odd, but if you keep saying it, it “becomes” your truth statement. Say to yourself, out loud in the mirror, “I’m great at remembering names and faces, I Rock at remembering names, I own remembering names”, repeat it, believe it. Write it on a post-it notes still. You’ve got this too! You can do this.

It’s not a trick, it’s not creepy, it solidifies to another human that you’re paying attention to them. It shows them you believe they are worth knowing. With a little practice, you’d be amazed at how fast and easy remembering becomes.

I worked at a very large company for 26 years. I knew just about everyone’s name. I made sure I called everyone, yes everyone from the security personnel, cleaning crew to the President of the company by their first names, or the nick name they enjoyed.

I loved making those connections, and it showed them that I respected them, which I do to this day.

Lastly, I want to express my gratitude to everyone else out there – from strangers who have helped me when I needed it, to acquaintances who brightened my day with a smile. Thank you all for being part of my life and helping me become the person I am today

#Offering help: If you need assistance in getting started, I’m open to free consultations. Just contact me via this site, or LinkedIn. You’re not alone in this – I’m here to help every step of the way.

If you would like to converse about my services please reach out as well. I am passionate about helping people reach their goals and turning them into a reality. I know I can help you make the impact you are hoping for, as well as reach your target audience either by writing product information, learn more “call to actions”, newsletter and email writing.

It’s About Progress Not Perfection

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about making progress. Every day, we are presented with opportunities to move forward and improve our lives. Sometimes, we take those opportunities and sometimes we don’t. But as long as we keep moving forward, even if it’s just a little bit each day, we are making progress.

As we evolve we hopefully become more self aware. We know what we want, and possibly more importantly we know want we don’t want for ourselves. We can still make “bad” decisions, but I have to believe that each decision one makes is based on a belief system or defense mechanism we each have built for ourselves. A belief platform that tells us over and over again of “how it’s supposed to be”. But is it right? Is there a ”right” way? Only one, or just the one you’ve come to believe in?

Take the holidays. Chanukah, the Festival of Lights. When you were a child it was one thing, as an adult is it another ? Does it mean as much? How have your beliefs changed in what it was or is? Have they changed? The same can be asked about Christmas as well. Goto church, pray, get gifts, gather and eat with family.

How do you deal with the holidays, family, family “friends”, new “friends”? Are you excited, stressed out, evasive, apathetic?

If you’re going to be uncomfortable being with family, you have permission to not go (or host).

In tech, we build software applications and systems, test them, then give them to others to test and “break”. We WANT them to find flaws so they can be fixed before a bigger problem is found. It’s an iterative process. Yes, sometimes frustrating, but usually satisfying especially if it’s an easy fix. No one expects it to be perfect.

Now imagine crafting your life that way. There is no right, there is no wrong, there just is. The good, the bad, the frustration, the elation all will pass, nothing is permanent. A moment from now you won’t be exactly the same person you were a moment ago, so quite possibly the NOW person doesn’t want or need what the person they were a moment ago needed.

My whole life changed again during COVID. One day I was living alone in a condo in northern NJ working 2 jobs commuting to NYC 6 days a week, and on March 9th, 2020 I shut down my section of MLB Advanced Media, a brand new multi-million dollar office, and have barely traveled to NYC again, even for fun. If you told me that – on that day at that moment, it didn’t seem like that something so extreme would even be possible. But it was.

The next day the entire team pivoted to be home based, and we got to work, and we made it work. In no small part of that equation we’re my bosses, who were and are stellar in every sense of the word. Was it seamless and perfect? Not even close. The whole team was clamoring for more work hours, but we all made due with what was given. It worked somehow.

In my off hours, which were now many, I began long walks outside, worked out more, went to the grocery store as little as possible, but when I did I wore my mask, came home took off my shoes at the door, washed the food, all the clothes I was wearing, and took a full shower. It was exhausting, but I didn’t get COVID.

I helped neighbors, and met with friends outside 6 feet apart, took care of my pets, and just kept moving forward. Was it perfect? Again, not by a long shot. I applied to any job I thought I could do remotely for months, I was about to lose my condo when I sold it and moved in with my boyfriend. I then also started a fully remote mainstream job for the first time in years. I was a fish out of water, but I learned about the people, the culture, the job, the technology, and the competition. It was all new like I was a beginner again, because in a certain way, I was. Tech in broadcasting was rapidly changing, evolve or die, I choose to live, and so I did.

Is it perfect now? Nope. It’s progress not perfection. I’m in a New home, with a great guy, great friends and family, a great job, still working out everyday. It got better and still gets better everyday. It’s been a long road but setting expectations and accepting where you’re at in that exact moment leads to a certain peace in life that perfection can’t deliver.

#keepmovingforward

Continue reading “It’s About Progress Not Perfection”

The Broadcast Engineer Unicorn

#Offering Help: #Mentoring, #Writing, & #Engineering Services

I’ve been fortunate throughout my 33 year career to have found many mentors. I now happily find myself still working, but also mentoring the next generations of broadcast employees. Not only to have had such a diverse career So Far – it’s certainly far from over, but a female engineer in the world of broadcasting I have been termed a Unicorn. Who me? Yup!

Indeed, for many many years I have found myself to be the only female in the room. The only adult in the room, but that’s another story. I’d be promoted into a full room of men and me. If there was another women, she was an assistant or secretary, so I’d do my best to be inclusive and share insight. Paying back the kindness that was so graciously bestowed upon me along the way.

Although, I have to say, I was underestimated along the way as well. I didn’t spout or boast my knowledge, pat myself on the back for a job well done, I just kept my mouth shut and did my job, and did everything I could think of to “move the needle forward” for women in broadcasting.

Unfortunately, back then the loudest person in the room was thought to be “right” or the most knowledgeable, I certainly wasn’t loud, so I took the brunt of a lot of wrongs. Should I have spoken up? Looking back, absolutely yes, I just didn’t have those tools in my toolkit – YET.

Finally one day, I started a new job in the control room. I had not only one woman boss, I had two! I felt lucky. I was in certain respects, in other respects – uh, not so much.

I won’t distinguish which was which, but one superior was never satisfied. If I took care of every single aspect of my job, went beyond what was expected, took initiative to do more, it still wasn’t enough. More was thrown at me (sometimes literally) and I would scramble to “figure it out”. I could ask the other superior clarifying questions, but mostly I was on my own, they were both busy, and that’s why I was there right? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Finally about 3 months in, the superior who was never satisfied went on a 2 week vacation. I was elated, and for good reason. The other “boss”, would check in with me, and on my 2nd day with just her in-charge, she physically came into the control room. I showed her all I did, what I was watching for, what I still needed to finish, and of course asked if I could help her with anything. A simple “Nope, I’ll be in my office, if you need anything, call. You’re smart, I trust you, and I know you won’t wait until you get into trouble to call me”. Then she left. Wow! What a feeling of empowerment.

To this day I do not know that that boss knows what she gave me. Autonomy for one thing, but also confidence. She gave me an example of how I wanted to be when I was in a position like that, respectful, inclusive, giving, everything I needed summed up in a short sentence. Not only did I learn what I wanted to be like, I learned something even more important, what I didn’t want to be like. I didn’t want to create/rule by fear every time I walked into a room, I didn’t want to make anyone feel less than, no matter who they were, I didn’t want to make anyone feel like they were only as good as their last mistake. And so, I’ve taken that goal and hopefully not only successfully achieved it, but surpassed it.

I knew what I wanted, so then I sought out through positive leaders/achievers in and outside of the company. Learned from their vast historical knowledge and applied it to new ways of developing standards. All the men and women of my past have made me who I am today.

Have I made mistakes? Absolutely. Really big ones? That’s an even bigger Absolutely. Have I learned and grown from them? Absolutely. Do I regret some? Absolutely. I don’t regret learning from my mistakes, I regret how I handled my failures sometimes. We all fail sometimes, or a lot of the time, but it’s how we get back up, how we recover that matters. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.

I cannot change the past though, I can only move forward with integrity and perseverance in the future. I can pass on my knowledge to usher in the new generations. And, I do.

In 2019 I took a seasonal broadcast streaming engineer position at MLB Advanced Media. I was fortunate to work with a newly assembled group of engineers. All men and me (a Re-occurring theme throughout my career). Not only was I the only woman, I was also the oldest person in the room by far. The youngest wasn’t even born when I graduated college, he wasn’t even of drinking age yet. But he was/is brilliant. The takeaway is to remain open, accepting, giving, and teachable. And, check your ego at the door.

It was a new system that we all rolled out in only 3 months, so we All were learning something literally brand new together. It was extraordinary. I had as much to learn, and unlearn as they did, but we did it all together. To this day it was hands down one of the best teams I was ever a part of. We all worked together in this small closet of a room, and we successfully streamed out 32 minor league team’s games for the season, ending in an all time high of adding in some major league games too. We all helped each other through processes and SOPs, it was amazing.

The season ended, some found other full time jobs, the rest of us stayed on part-time to work on Major League ballpark infrastructure upgrades in the off-season. Another great experience. But we did it together. I’ve gone back as a part-time employee season after season with great anticipation and openness to learning all the new tech forward innovation each year. I am truly grateful to have found MLB, and many others along my Broadcasting journey. I was asked once, “What will you do when or if they hire another girl/ woman for this office?”, my response was simple, “I’d throw a parade first, then make sure you all treated her with the same respect you’ve shown me (which was a lot, and it never waivered), or you’ll have to answer to me!” That was said with a somewhat joking lilt, but it was true then, and true now. That was verbatim comment recollection. Very smart, accomplished women were hired, and the respect was given, I was proud of this group of fine men and now women.

It’s not over yet – not by a long shot!

If you’d like to chat please feel free to contact me. I can learn just as much from you as you can hopefully from me.

Success at Job Hunting in the Universe’s Vacuum

If you want to be successful in job hunting, you need to be persistent and never give up. You need to believe in yourself and your ability to find the right job for you. The universe is full of opportunities, and it’s up to you to find them.

I started a great new position this week. After years of seasonal, and short contract work at various places, I wanted to find something full-time, and permanent. Permanent is a relative term to me. One can be “let-go” at any time these days, because there was a restructuring, not because one wasn’t doing well, for cause, or just lay-offs. It can be disheartening.

When I was offered my current job, I literally had gotten another offer the very same day, and a third offer the next day. I asked each possible new employer further clarifying questions so I could make an informed decision. That doesn’t give me any guarantees, but gives me the best chance at what I want and need. Note: I also only applied to jobs I really wanted, but was still looking because nothing was “final” until I, and the company have finished the on-boarding process. But, more on that another day.

FINDING THE OPPORTUNITY

Fear not, there are many opportunities out there, one just has to find them. Make looking for a job, a full time job in itself. Let me break it down a bit with some specifics. Set-up job parameters with automated Daily alerts on multiple sites, visit specific company sites daily (there are jobs there that are not posted publicly), filter for job keywords, position, desired location, (or on-site,remote/hybrid), and then of course latest or newest listings. This cut down on how “far” back anyone will have to cull through a seemingly endless list of jobs (most of which that wouldn’t fit one’s skill-set, or ones that aren’t of interest, or titled oddly). I only applied to jobs I wanted, and that I was at least 80%+ qualified for. My resume was updated nearly weekly to tweak it, and so was my cover letter.

BOTS

I’m sure job-seekers already know about HR bots: ATS system: Applicant Tracking System. It’s designed to automatically find keywords from the job description and find those skills in your resume automatically. If your resume doesn’t match up to a certain percent, then it automatically gets rejected, and the hiring manager, or HR person never gets to see your resume at all. So weave the keywords from the job description into your resume (assuming you truly have those skills), and your resume will actually get a human’s eyeballs to look at it.

Otherwise you’ll more than like get the dreaded automated response of, “while we are so excited that you’ve spent time applying for this position, and you’re highly skilled, we are not moving forward with your candidacy, and moving forward with other candidates that are more closely aligned with this position.” Even worse, you may have now been put into their system in an automatic reject for X amount of time. It’s true, so always try to present yourself in the best light, your effort upfront has big pay-off.

Now, keep in mind, every company must legally post a position even if they already know the candidate they Will be hiring. I’ve gone to job listings that were only a few hours old, saw there were no other applicants, but also was removed or “no longer available” almost as soon as it was posted. “Whatttt!!!??” The company legally did what they had to do, they posted the job, then removed it as soon as legally possible. I found this annoying at first, then took a different purview of the action, “at least I didn’t waste my time going through the entire application process”. It all depends on how you look at it. I chose the latter – be positive.

CONNECTION IS KEY

If you have a connection at a company you’re applying to, reach out to them. This is not just to ask them to recommend you, it’s also exploratory to find out more about the company, and if you want to work there too. It’s equally important for YOU to interview the interviewer about the company, culture, company and job challenges, who had the position prior to this, where did they move up or onto, and why. There are many other questions, but that’s a good starting point.

Next, there is the “quick apply” tactic. Job sites that offer a seemingly “one-click” application process, followed usually by a couple of generic questions like: Are you a US citizen?, Will you now or ever need sponsorship?, and are you at least 18 years old? I would advise if you decide to apply this way that you should also write a cover letter if the app provides the option. If not, note who the hiring manager or job poster is, and contact them through email if provided, or LinkedIn (In-mail).

DUE DILIGENCE

Don’t underestimate the cover letter. Many Recruiters and Hiring Managers automatically reject resumes from highly qualified applicants simply because there was no cover letter. Why? It shows interest, and a level of effort. Even if you don’t have the name of the job poster, or hiring manager, simply start with Dear Hiring Manager, then in the body of the cover letter say why you’d be great in the position, something that’s NOT in your resume and be positive.

Finally end with something like, “I look forward to hearing from you”. Then your signature. Boom! You’ve written a few short sentences and “Submit”. You’ve just upped your chances of being contacted by a Recruiter (whether in-house or not) by approximately 80%.

FOLLOW THROUGH

Lastly, if you haven’t heard anything for over a week, follow-up with a “checking in” email. Don’t ask for a response, the hiring manager and recruiter are very busy people. Just let them know you’re still interested in the position (you didn’t just one-click apply). A little effort goes a long way. If you’re willing to put the effort in before you have the job, you’re a good candidate to actually DO the job.

If you’d like more tips please leave questions in the comment section, or email me directly (it’s in the contact area of this site).

Good luck in your search. I look forward to hearing feedback from you!

The Green Room in the Cloud

Beginning a new position at a new company, working with a new team is exciting, maybe a little scary, but full of potential. Broadcast production is changing at a breakneck pace with cloud streaming, SMPTE2110, bandwidth constraints, NDI, RTMP, RTSP, SRT, HLS streams, SFPs, CDNs, and a mountain of other technology devices, and Software as a Service (SaaS) growing exponentially everyday.

Doing more with less has always been the trend. Now that is the rule rather than the exception. Not only do we need to do more with less, we need to automate systems, and have automated notification systems to let us know what may be going wrong.

This does not absolve us from manually checking -in, usually remotely though. Bots are now not a luxury, they are a necessity, but they still do not override the humans who run them. Remember, you come first, people come first. We need to take the sailing saying “one hand for yourself, one hand for the boat (to hold on). This is the epitome of taking care of yourself and whatever your “boat” is, and being safe.

You can’t give away what you don’t have. If you’re not ok, you cannot help or be of service to someone else. Remember self care? Give yourself a minute or five for meditation, a walk, a phone break to connect to another human (especially if you’re working completely remotely).

Speaking to that end, make sure you stay connected with your boss, and work team. If YOU are the sole team member, reach out to others outside of your group to interact with them, take a class, join a business volunteer group – stay connected, and communicate. Communication is key.

Luckily in production, even technical fully remote production, I HAVE to communicate with colleagues daily. It is very satisfying to me when I’m solving problems – fixing issues is how I work. Find out what excites you, and go after it. It may not happen overnight, but it is possible. The journey is not always easy. That maybe just for me though. I do feel that if I’ve worked for something and the “result” isn’t what I wanted, maybe I wasn’t specific enough as to what my intention was. So, I drill down to more details of what I want (which is always to be challenged to fix something).

This applies not only to work. I love fixing things in the house. Whether it’s spackling and painting a hole or spot on wall, changing out the broken igniter on the heater, reinstalling the screen on the front door, or cutting the hedges in the yard. This is also the basis on how I approach sports.

Take golf for instance. Recently a good friend bought a brand new set of highly technically advanced Callaway clubs. Now, there are many choices out there, and her “old set” of Callaway Rogues are in perfect condition. I’m a newer golfer, but have found a great love for the game and its process (even on a bad day), but I bought the “old” set of Rogues for a deal. I took my golf lesson with them, and then played a round with them the next day. Today I’ll goto the driving range, chip out of sand bunker, and putting green to continue my process.

“New” used Callaway clubs, my old bag, but it all works

The point is, we never know when or where an opportunity will pop up. I in turn gave away my old set to someone just starting out like I had last year. Yes, I bought the set, but watching someone have a true love and interest in growing themselves made me want to pay it forward and give to them in turn. I do a lot of volunteering as well, there are many ways to give back. Your time and attention to someone in need is invaluable!

Pay it forward in all aspects of your life, whether in-business, health, friendship, volunteering, being a good neighbor. We are here for more than ourselves. It’s a great-big world out there, be apart of it, you’ll be better all around for it. I call that being IN the green room.

My new job is completely remote, it’s a great team, and we learn everyday. We “live” our work-lives virtually in the cloud, but we are together in the production “green room”.

Idea Box…Being Present

Be here now. Being present, showing up, paying attention on a personal or work related phone call; Zoom, TEAMs, Chime, Blue Jeans, WebEx conference call where you’re camera is off and you’re muted, and “multitasking”. But are you really? Are you actually retaining the information while eating lunch, cooking dinner, surfing for a cool pair of shoes, or paying a bill? Let’s explore this a bit.

The TV is on with a show you’ve seen a hundred times. You get on your standard 9a call (whether it’s video or otherwise), and the coordinator goes over the agenda, then the meeting really begins. You don’t have to present anything on that particular day, soooooo you zone out, this content is as old as the TV show you have muted (with captions running in the background).

Change the dialog. The only way to do that is to listen, participate, oh and turn on you video camera at least while your asking a question, and especially if your pitching an idea, or presenting new material. It makes an impact. Don’t just literally show up and tune out, actively participate in the conversation, even if it is just in the chat box. You may find out an answer to a question that will help you later on.

This premise doesn’t stop at work, do you “multitask” at home while listening to your family while cooking dinner, Swiffering the floor, or considering where to place the decorations exactly? Did you remember that your spouse or significant other wouldn’t be home for dinner because they had an out-of-town client meeting that was going to run late?

Put down the skillet and spatula, turn off the TV, put down your phone, heck put it on silent mode! Stop surfing the net for that perfect pair of running shoes that are 80% off. Don’t answer every text immediately. It really can wait 5-20 minutes while you actually give the person your connected to the richly deserved time to connect in a real visceral way.

People are feeling more disconnected than ever since COVID. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not just the social distancing and masks. People have gotten so used to being separate, they’ve forgotten to be apart of something too.

This year, I’ve reconnected to many people through sports, but also just calling to say “hello, how are you?”. A simple act, but meaningful. Stringing small acts like that together can create a ripple in an isolated world. Take down the partition. Who cares if your hair and makeup aren’t perfect? It’s the authentic you, and your friends, family, colleagues, even people you haven’t met yet want YOU, the real you who is willing to give them 2 undivided minutes. You never know what the effect will be until you try. They and You deserve it.

If you’re not ready to get out into the full world yet, just pick up the phone, you don’t have to say anything else except “I was just thinking of you, and thought I’d call (instead of texting) to say hello.” What a statement! You’d hear the other person’s voice, tone, inflection, and I bet you’d raise their spirits, and yours as well too.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Leave a short message, don’t expect a response, not everyone else is ready / YET. Just take it easy on yourself, go moment by moment, then it’ll be a day, then the next, suddenly it’s months later, and you may have literally changed you life, by simply being present.

The Michael J. Fox Effect

No one knows the amazing effect a simple act of kindness can have. It is why I try to pay it forward all the time.

I was very sick as a young teenager. I was in the ICU, and pediatric ward more than I can even remember. I couldn’t walk most of the time, my eyes were so blurry I couldn’t see, the days ran into each other I was there so long. But there are a few things I do remember…….

I was in the pediatric ICU with an underweight baby I was allowed to feed. The nurses watched me, I loved doing it, and I could be in bed and contributing to something at least. We really weren’t sure if I was going to make it then, I did not know that at the time. They were trying to cure my very advanced Lyme Disease back then with penicillin and the course of treatment only had a 25% cure rate, but they also knew that I couldn’t infect anyone else either. So, if I could stand and walk, they let me, I even did the stairs if I felt up to it. Not many kids in the ICU could walk, or breathe on their own at all.

There was also young boy, Michael, he had a severe brain tumor, and Michael J. Fox was his “Make A Wish” guardian. Young Michael was not going to last very long. Everyday MJF called young Michael and they spoke on the speaker phone, I asked if I was allowed to say “hello”, and of course they let me. The very next day packages arrived. A few for young Michael and one hand delivered to me, by MJF himself – a Teddy Bear that I still have today.

I truly do not know if he already suspected that he had Parkinson’s disease, but I will say that he was and is generous in spirit and his time he gives to others, I cannot gush enough about him.

There was also a young doctor, who came a couple of Sunday’s on his day off to play the guitar for all of us. He played happy songs that we all knew, it certainly raised our spirits. About 8 months and thousands of tests and LPs (spinal taps) later, I finally was able to leave the hospital. I was weak, I was behind on schoolwork, even though teachers came in with lesson plans, they let a lot go, they pointed to answers for verbal tests (when I could see). Everyone played a part in helping me get better, and I did get better. Not only did I walk again, I danced in Performing Arts HS again, it was the greatest and worst time of my life.

Update on young Michael. He lived, and still lives, and is a brilliant brain surgeon. It’s an incredible story of courage and grit. It propels me to move forward and do better each day. I may not be a brain surgeon, but I know I can help people.

Be kind, be generous with your time, show up, helping someone also helps YOU, also know asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger and self aware.

I can never repay the kindness that all the doctors, nurses, aides, and physical therapists, and their assistants, teachers, my parents, my siblings, and friends but, I can pay it forward to the next person, and I endeavor to do that everyday.

Thank you Michael J. Fox for all of you kindness and giving even through all of your trials and tribulations. The world is better because you’re in it.

Gratefully yours to eternity and back,

Nicole Gabriel